FOUR YEARS TO FUCKING PASS SOON!
shoes!
more $$$
purple hair(or crazily coloured hair?)
complete happy family crazy friends another hoodie
more time to sleep or go out:p
shorts,shirts
wishes that wont come true;
-tongue piercing
-belly piercing(shouldn't have closed the other two)
-tattoo(o.0)}pretty pls?
-all my ear piercings back
-plus additional ear piercings
-lip piercing
-eyebrow piercing^^
-just to say happy
haha.NEW ZEALAND NEW ZELAND NEW ZEALAND!!andand its like only how many more hours!!this is gonna past damn quickly man..haha.im also gonna extend hair todaee!!before going to airport.NEW ZEALAND!!yipee.val coming my house now and i told her im lazy to walk out and asked her to try to find her way here cos she has been here once!!haha,im lamE!!ohwells,gonna miss my darling cats andand her cutie kittens!!haha,ohwells,val in the house alrdy!!haha,damn fast lehs!!anws,i gotta prepare liaos..hhaha.buhh byes!<3 ps:i lurb you
;7:33 PM
IF YOU READ THIS WHOLE THING.YOU WILL LEARN SOMETHING THAT I HAVE NEVER TOLD 'YOU ALL' BEFORE,UP TO YOU. okaiee..lets see..its alrdy 2.19am and i still csnt go to sleep.my body id judt not tired!!then somemore todaee we flying off to new zealand!!yeah,im loving it!1im not gonna let the fact that none ofmy family members would be there and that the only ppl who might be sending me off is only ainsley sffect my mood.i wanna be happy throughout the whole thing no matter what happens..im gonna try and still wear a smile on my face and try out everything they ask us to do..even if it might be fscing my fear of heights!!my mother at here sleep talking now..then just now she woke up slightly then started scolding so much then she went back to sleep..if ppl didnt know they would think she is drunk..haha.but shes not!!anws,im not gonna be home after val comes to my house o byebbye people!!see you in ten days!!hshs,those going obs good luck and enjoy it!!hha,you all wont be able to see iton time but next time can see rights??haha,ohohoh..anws,this is what noraida says in her longlong msg..(haha,i was so shocked to see that the msg was so long..haha)first she said:"hey kim..what time's your flight tmr.."then i said :"9pm.but we assemblyin at 7pm.haha.why?"then she said:"no..jus asking..thought i may wwant to send you off but it'l be pretty rushed from sch plus i've 14s training if you're gathering at 7pm.."then i was like:"haha.its alright lahs.haha,"thrn noraida replied her last msg at 23:33 cos i neh reply was going start packing liaos.she said:"will do..sorry i may notbe able to see you off at the airport..enjoy yourself there..have fun but must be at your best behavior too..you're a guest there so much watch our words and actions..be patient wif e rest of e group members..help out wif whatever you can n don't complain too much even if your host is not e best..be gracious and polite always..stay strong n uphold your integrity at all times..we'll miss you lots..try to keep fit as much as you can..be good and see you when you get back..good night n take care..regards to our mom."haha,this were her excact words..haha.sorry i was bored that ehy i did that.omgg,itd like 2:35 now and i still cant sleep!i think i will be sleeping on the plane man..but would that be the correct timing??cos we will be cos we arriving there around 10:35 when we land so if i sleep on the plane its alright rights>>hah,omgg..im being do lame now cans..and i wonder who could be online now..hah.let miee go online again and find out.since i have the mood now,i shall tell you about the game just now..they were so damn bloody big,tall and fast so our passes were like almost all intercepted then it was like so hard lahs pls,i nearly died tere..not because tired but because kena banges too many times liaos..i feel so stupid.ppl hit them dun fall down until like me like that,,i seem very weak eh?i feel so lousy nowadays..its like after coming to this school,ive lost the passion for sports,the passion fer netball.last time i was able to do extra training myself and all but now i cannot even do that anymore.i dun even feel like training properly fer the normal training..maybe i shud just leave skool rites??maybe i dun belong to this school at all.i feel so left out..my own team mates.and its like so tiring to have to pretend that im okaiee when i was never once feeling that way..the feeling seriously sucks!!i wanna tell them but they most probably would just shake it off and say its im thinking too muchor say its that im the onenot talking thats why.tu i feel it like so totally unfair to me!!they can feel that they are totally leaving george out but tthey can never feel the same way with mieee.i really dun understand why.do i have to tell them stright to their face or whats..ive told them that sometimes i behave unreasonable is because too many things are being bottled inside.and there id nothing im able to do about it..i feel so useless!!!i dun evenn belong in this team anymore.im like a loner,an outcast.to those that have read thru this freaking long blog,thank you fer having to endure whatever that im pouring out.i hope everything would be able to change when i come back from new zealand,so once again,bye guys!!will miss all of you loads,:(
;11:18 AM
so here i am here trying to psck my freaking things andannd its like do hard o pack when you are lacking of most of the things and your sis lies to you at the last freaking minute..and i dunno how to go and find things or money to go and buy all the clothes now.im like totally screwed.somehow,my family has never supported me in whatever i did.i feel so disappointed whenever i see ppls parents and family there to send them off or to be there when they came back.like the taiwan trip,no doubt you sent me there,but you immediately went back and just left me there.do you have any idea how i felt at that time?i didnt even feel like going anymore.i didnt even have the mood to joke around or even smile anymore.it really feels so horrrible..and now when im going t onew zealand,you dun even wanna send me to the airport anymore.just because of grandpa.just because of him you have not been caring about us anymore ights?you have been neglecting us fer how long.do you know how much i wanna scream and ahout at you and let you know how i feel...its hurting me so much and everytime i wonder whether doyou really understand how im feeling when you care fer me..it really seems like you dunno anything at all.omgg,my life sucks like hell man.i dun wanna live anymore.it feels so horrible.andand i told myself to be a happier person and yet you are here making me feel so much worse.it sucks.the feeling sux okaiee.i feel like just taking a knife and stab you in the heart,even f i do that,the pain im going thru now would be one thousand times worse.i dunno how to tell you this,but i seriously hate how the family is treating me yeah?do you all really treat me as part of the family?i feel so neglected,i fell like an out cast..sometimes i wonder whether im adopted a not?cos it seems so likely then the chances of me being your daughter man,anws,about today game it was so hard to play.the mags ppl were like so big and tall and they were so fast too.im too depressed to elaborate.sorrie,i hope im able to kick all this out of my head on time if not im dead cos i need this break to pull myself together and then when we come back,i'll be able to start afreash,really knowing what i wanna do wid my life. ps: i lurb you
;9:04 AM
Saturday, April 26, 2008
sian ahs.until now still left alone at home..and kor just came home going out soon .serve him rigth fer getting chased out of the house..fuick him off man..im so boreed.andand ahahahahahha,ohwells,im just doing this to entertin myself..so tata.. if you love miee,pls say so.dun keep miee waiting so long.its hurting me too much.i cant hold back the tears and the hurt from everything that has been happening,life's just not the same anymore.it just got worst, ps:i lurb you
;3:03 AM
Friday, April 25, 2008
.THIS IS FER AINSLEY!! hhahaha,you veh funny lehs.alwae wantwant coffee de..hahahhahhahahahaha..th craziness.afterwards you cannot sleep i laugh at you luhhs.hahah,she wants her coffee coffee coffee.and she keeps calling miee mummy!!haha,sounds like edwin rites!shes funny funny funny funny funny..andand thinks i dun look like sec 2,dun look like sec 1..but look like p5 p6 like that..first time people tell miee i look younger than my age lehs.THANK YOU AH!!!haha,am i only friendly outside court?haha><.i feel so toopid now..talking sso much nonsense now man..hah.ouh ya,one more thing,she praises herself!!
mummy still not home at hospital..she said she would be home in the morning and its alrdy like what tyme??1:49..she lied man..she lied.i hate it when she does that..FUCK!!ohwells,life just meant to be lyke that haha'
ONE LAST THING FER AINSLEY!! TOLD TO MIEE BY AMELIA!!HAHA, ONCE THIS GUY WENT TO A HOTEL TO STAY AND STAYED IN ROOM 114.BUT HE DIDNT KNOW THAT ROOM 113 WAS HAUNTED!!EVERY NIGHIT.HE WOULD HEAR A BEATIFUL VOICE SINGIGNG..SO HE TOOK IT AS SOMETHING TO HELP HIM SLEEP PEACEFULLY,SO ONE DAY,HE THOT..BEAUTIFUL SINGING CONFIRM BEAUTIFUL GIRL RITES..SO HE WENT TO CUT A HOLE IN THE WALL..THAT NIGHT,HE HEARD THE SINGING AGAIN..SO HE QUICKLY LOOKED THRU THE HOLE..THE WHOLE ROOM WAS RED.THE NEXT MORNING,HE WENT DOWN TO THE SERVICE COUNTER AND ASKED WHY THE ROOM WAS RED?THE PERSON THERE TOLD HIM THAT THE MANAGERS DAUGHTER DIED IN THAT ROOM AND WAS SEEN WALKING AROUND WITH RED EYES..
UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED??HAHA,YOU'LL SCREAM!!HAHA,
;10:31 PM
so im alone at home again.something happened and grandpa was sent to the hospital..so mummy followed the ambulance..so left miee only luhhs..so sadd!!ohwells,ANWS..its lyke a few more days before we go to new zealand..but i part of miee knows that i dun wanna leave home..todaee had the under 14 training..mei see neh come!!but luckylucky sam came..then afterwards went to eat macs wid her joan and some other cedar girls..which i later found out that their names weere parveenwon and ainsley!!haha,they are damn funny okiee..ohwells,i dun lead an interestin life unlike some ppl,so tatas!1 ps:i lurb you
;7:12 AM
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
now in com lab waitning fer history class to start..and guess whats??i think we going to do project presentation but i havent even start on it..only got the thing of the newspaper article of when elizabeth died..how her youngest grand daughter felt..diediediediediediediediedie..omgg.what asm i supposed t0 tell mrs gan??shit..i totally fogot about it pls..thyen when ask fer com la slip she never give miee..sigh..i better get ready fer te worst!!detention!!no training liaos..so sadededd!!but cannopt go todaee..got the toopid fitness test lehs..howhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhow???omgg..andand the class is like supposed to go into elearn there to see those videos of the lessons!!7 of them lehs..how?im like slacking so much luhhs..diediediediedie!!then somemore the new zealand thingy dance thingy the sond disc also havent do yet lehs...why so suay one lehs.. class is going to start liaos!!so pls wish miee good luck!!hope mrs gan doesnt chop chop my head..if not my head xxxxx off liaos, ps:i lurb you
;9:25 PM
Monday, April 21, 2008
in com lab again so boring des, saded!! ms kelly at here talking some bullshit aabout wanting to check new zealand journal sianx and my one is lyke so full of crap pls they say dun really wanna see only wanna check but now lyke want to see thru only whatthehell and my homestay person looks so scary although she younger than miee whatthehell look lyke one.... andand we cant make the song cd fer the new zealand dance howhowhowhowhowhowhow???????? nehmind now needto write some pre departure thingy and i didnt even know about it diediediediediedie ryan beside miee now!! ahahaha,im so lame!! wheeeeeeets nemind shall end here and do the journal now!! andand i wanna know the national under 14 results now!sigh, ps:i lurb you
;11:00 PM
Saturday, April 19, 2008
haha..im so lazy to doing homework cos i now it will take lyke damn long and i havent even started doing noraidas card.DIE>>anybody volunteer to help miee?i need go print the pictures but dunno go where can print.that stupid kodak machine at where siol?everytime dun need can rember where,theen when need cannot find and rember..suay.wahtthehell!!haha,yeah,lifes good and grandpa out of hospital alrdy.hes going to get baptised todaee..here!!at home,the craziness.just got money but gonna fly away very soon cos 27 bucks must keeep,20 fer allowance and 28 fer topping up..sigh!!khjrhfeuofhsfsdf,dsnwerithsdmdngjrbhgiocfmdsnjewiopr.. im bored!!!anybody offers to entertain miee todaee?msg miee yah?buhh byes, ps:i lurb euu
;6:37 PM
ive been telling myself that iii lurb euu.but do i?or is it someone else that ii really love.ii dunno who or what i am anymore.since ive came to this skool,i feel so artificial.i cannot be the person i am or i want to be.i have to be the person ppl in this skool want mie to be..but why am i doinn this to myself??i'll wait and wait and wait.i dont know fer how long but i'll stil wait.my cats pregnant!!!!!!!!hhahaha.stomach so big now..hahahahaha..my cute cat. ps:i lurb euuu!<3
haha.i just came back from the under 14 trail..so scared not in siol..haha.cos i tred hard at there..ahaha.so funny!!just now accidentallly whacked the ball onto the st nics c ii think..not quite sure.hahaha.ooh wells,need to study soon liaos.haha.tmr still need to go church!ahhhhhh,how to sleep ahs.sianded!!haha,anws.need to start studying soon.buhh byes<3 ps;i lurb euu
;2:08 AM
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
omgg.this sucks.ii dunno what im doing.....FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
;5:22 AM
Monday, April 14, 2008
now in the com lab dunno doin what journal thing fer the new zealand trip and im at a lost..cos ii dunno what to do siol..sianx.hahha..looking at that msi the school website now and joleen is beside miee..hahahahahaha.omgg..she keep talking s omuch...so sianded..supposed to put lyke pictures and informations about them..haha.ii hope ii get the correct information luhhs.if not so damn pai seh.hahahahahahhahaha,im going to sleep now manz..hahha.saddd!!!!!!!joleen just asked miee why must two ii ones..hhaha.anws,gonna be guai and listen to teacher and do what she asking us to do now.<3 ps:ii lurb euu
;11:06 PM
Saturday, April 12, 2008
omgg..im just waiting fer a miracle to happen now..not one..but a few.a miracle fer my grandpa to be out of icu..a miracle fer the team to be able to make another comeback against st mags..one last game one last fight.ii hope we would be able to do it..one last miracle fer myself to be able to live lyke a normal kid and be able to concentrate on both sports and studies..im determined now to be the best ii can be.. 1)those that ii hab dissapointed last time when euu were only trying to help miee to bring up my marks.. 2)those that were trying to make miee into a better person.. 3)all those that never gave up one miee no matter how much trouble ii got into.. 4)NORAIDA!!fer alwae be there fer miee no matter how much trouble ii wa to euu.. 5)natalie koh..haha..fer being the best listening ear anyone could hab..THE BEST SENIOR!!lurbs euu planetloads, 6)those that had encouraged miee when im down.. 7)chris hwang..thanks fer all the advice euu hab given miee..and how euu showed miee that even though its hard ii shouldnt think of just dying as it wouldnt solv anything...that ii shud instead think of living cos ii might hab a chance at solving the problem if ii did that..this is just one of the many things euu hab helped miee in.thank euus, 8)and finally the last but not the least..th TEAM.thanks fer all of euur endless support although ii hab given the team so much trouble and even caused netball to hab a bad name..the sec 2s.ii hope the three of euu wwould be able to see how much ii wanna change,from the person ii was last year compared to the person ii am now..all of euu hab helped miee so much ii really dunno what ii should do fer all of euu.. To all those that ii hab mentioned: im SORRIE ..fer either losing my temper at all of euu..not listening to all of euu and most importantly,not showing any of euu all respect..it might be just one bad thing ii hab done to euu or all..im truly sorrie.and ii really wanna change now,so ii hope all of euu would gib miee one last chance to prove myself. ii would be reall very grateful. after everything is out..finally..ii feel a burden lifted from my shoulders..ii hab so much more interest in cf then before..i wanna know god more.. im shocked wid myself..ive finally decided to change..so it seems that everyones hard work of trying to change miee is finally paying off..THANK YOU to all of euu.ii used to feel veh useless whenever anyone of euu tried to help miee..talk to miee..but lowly ii realised all of euu were just helping miee..and slowly,just recently,ii just realised that iii shuld actually appreciate all of euur effort.and when ii finally sat down one day to reflect,iii realised how badly ii hab treated everyone and that ii should be listening to all of euu instead..now,ii know that im a little more than useless..haha.JOKE!!
im determined to change..yes i am.
;5:47 AM
Friday, April 11, 2008
maybe im someone really crazy..ii do not know.maybe ii shouldnt hab been given birth to in the first place..all anyone of euu can say to miee is bullshit.ii do not gib a damn about anything anymore.it has been too much fer miee..ii aint that strong person euu think ii am at all.so why won tanyone one of euu gib miee a break..my minds not right..its a blank.ii cant think properly anymore..why..why..why..nothings going right..everywhere ii go..whatever ii do..someones bound to find trouble wid miee..why are ll of euu doing this to mie??do all of euu find it reallly fun..all ii can say is that it might be fuun fer euu but its really hurting fer miee..so im begging euu..not asking euu.to stop this torture alrdy. ps:i'll alwae lurb euu
;11:28 PM
so lets say ii cant even tag myself..so saded!!!nemind..anws.hello ira!!dun worrie..haha.will play lyke siao and overcome them de..haha..omgg.ii feel so dizzy now lehs.dunno why also.so sad des.come back then mother buy food but cannot wake up liao then todaee wake up she eat finih fer miee alrdy.so saded lehs.so hungry now..ii hope ii get well before the last game..one last game,one last fight.go guys!!we can do this,jia yous all the way. im sorrie fer how ii played against ij tp.dun be angry wid miee anymore,ii really dunno what had happened.suddenly ii lost all my focus.but ii can assure all of euu that thats not gonna happen wid the game against st mags.we'll overcome them yeah?lets go guys, ps:ii lurb euu
;6:50 PM
Monday, April 7, 2008
fuck!ii actually fot post but couldn post.gotta go back to function hall soon.so tatas fer now..ps:ii lurb euu. ii could go on lyke that ferever until euu realsie how much ii really lurb euu
;4:56 AM
Sunday, April 6, 2008
im such a craazy ass..im still waiting to go to skool pls so bored.. nehmind at least im taling to vivien haha my entertainer im being so fucked up now im going all out fer the gameagainse ij tp ii dun wanna lose ii wanna play in th freaking finals ahhhhhhhh shit somthings stcuk in my head and ii cant seem to get it out ii dunno what to do to it its bugging miee so much i dunno how to face it ii seem so weak but ii cannot gib up ii need to go on wid lyfe wht the hell am i supposed to do die SOMEBODY SAVE MIEE FROM THIS MISERY COS II CANT LIVE WID IT NO MORE!!
;2:05 AM
ive ran out of words..how to tell euu ii lurb euu..so ii guess i'll let my heart do th talking from now onwards..ii know the way ii do things is different but pls accept miee fer who ii am,
;12:59 AM
maybe im in the wrong..ii shouldnt hab been so stubborn!ii shud hab listened but guess all this is my fault,ii shud hab never been part of this family.it totally sucks rite now.grandpas bleeding and ii might be left at home alone anytime cos mum might hab to bring him to the hospital.ah,nehmind ii wont be able to change it anyways..
wha is happening>ii dun understand!!ii feel lyke crying every single time i see euu..maybe its not meant to be.euu are avoiding miee..ii can see it.why not tell it straight to my face cos ii dun wanna hab to wait anymore.it seems lyke euu dunno how much ii hab been pinning fer euu..ii cant stand it anymore..ii wanna forget it euu..but it seems that ii cant and ii dunno why..a part of miee wanna wait fer euu but another part of miee is gone wid the way euu are treating miee..why not tell miee euuu wha me out of euur lyfe..maybe it would be much better fer both euu andmiee..dont euu think so??ii dun hab th strength to keep lying to myself tht everything is alright alrdy.its too much fer miee alrdy.lets just say..i live my life fer euu although euu dun wha miee to..tata..kill mieee if euu wha..cos ii wouldnt mind if it were euu.
;12:26 AM
Saturday, April 5, 2008
i dunno lahs..maybe its my fault..ii wanna say thise three words so much to euu but ii cant??cos of a veh simple reason.know what??cos euu aint lurbing miee back!!do euu know how much thats hurting miee?but lyke i said..i'll wait and wait and wait till euu finally would lurb miee back..ii wont gib up!ii wont gib euu..ii hope this wont be another toopid mistake of mine and ii dun think it is..so i'll gib euu my tyme and wait fer euu..cos euu are the one ii wha..euu are alwae stuck in my head..distracting miee from my work..
todaee training we played a few quaters fer that mr rogg guy then last quater we played whatever we wwwanted.so ii played gd then later swopped wid yuan min and played ga..hhhahahahaha..damn fun luhhs..then afterwards we played crocidile..and the team ii was in won all the sets except one:(but nehmind..still dun cool!!haha..then we did three cheers fer whites and then bev was crying so we talked then found out the reason so did another three cheer sfer her and someone else..then all of us were doing this funny action and aishah called us the crazy bulldozers!!ahahaha..
ii fell so tired now but im still blogging!!haha..th craziness!!haha..we got to go up to hostel to rest just now before the yog person came..haha.nat called mr ramon then he allow us to go up-nat,nab,me!!haha..then came back found out my sis kop all my food!ahahaha..so irritiating!!hha
im so dead!!math test on hursday and ii still dun understand mr royston teaching at all!!so irritiating..alwae think he is the best!what the hell..fuck!!nabei..ii feel lyke stranglin him pls..think he so goood.euu suck yeah??well anws..im just being random here. SOMETIMES II WISH LIFE WAS A FAIRYTALE,SO II COULD ALWAE LURB EUU!!WO AI NI,
;5:20 AM
Thursday, April 3, 2008
sometimes i really dont know what is happening or why ii react a certain way..it feels so wierd!!ii used to be able to control my temper and emotions..nehmind..anws ii shall gib a nick to ahahaha..ii wanna wait fer euu.i lurbed euu and ii need euur warmth..so why wont euu just gib miee euur lurb??whahahahahha..im bogging now when im suppose to be doing science!!ahahaha..and george is beside and joleen just went to meet ms ying shya fer dunno what reason siol..and im just blogging here thinking about the game afterwards!!it feels so wiers playing against st mags..go guys dun be afraid lets do it again!!letas push on until the last whistle!!cos ii know we can do it des!!haha,lets play like how we played against mgs..haha.ii promised will play 100% till the last game!!haha..euu all might not do thid but ii promise ii will..yeah??joleen finaaly come back liaos..haha!anws im going to study liaos.byes.<3 ii lurb euu!ii lurb euu!ii lurb euu!!rang wo ai ni..
