Friday, November 28, 2008

/god answers prayers,

so today..lazy blog ah.
just happpy.
some shoud know why.
ohwells..

one thing to note:
ATHRAH LIKES TO INVADE PRIVACY.

this is short i know but im tired,

love you,<3

;5:02 AM

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

/freaking demoralised,

another day has passed..
life's still boring.
and when i thot i could finally sleep longer cos tmr training at 10..
my mum comes and tell me to leave house at 645 with her and grandpa,
then go eat then send him to hospital.
ouhhhhhhhhhh dammit:(:(
why must it be like that?
just my luck.
tmr gon' bring the playing attire all this to school first.
so dun need bring on sunday.
haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzz...

athirah!
you owe me chocs man!!!
and yeah,
dance well alright?

gonna wait for another day to pass.
a few more thousands of days before,
i wont have another day to pass.

/and all ive left is you,

;11:30 PM

/and yeah.
im a fucked up person.

im damn fucking sick of misunderstands.
dun say what you think i am,
unless you're sure that that is me/
i admit.
i dun deserve your trust.
i admit.
im useless.
i admit.
i am th last person who should ever be given a second chance.

who do you think you are?
just cos of one fucking stud on my ear.
theres only two ear holes left!
you wanteed to throw th stud away,
cos we were supposedly in school.
my mum allows,
so why wanna make it close it?
and im not that stupid.
you alrdy made me close my belly hole twice,
why still wanna check?
you simply dun trust me.
even noraida does,
but you dont.
still wanna check my tongue?
i dunno what the fuck is your problem you know?
what have i done?
am i that bad to you?
that you think that i would pierce my tongue?
fine.i dun care/
i'll do what i wanna do from now on.
i dun wanna live up to your expectations anymore.
why should i?

whatever la.
i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate myself so much la.
why cant i just be normal in your eyes?
and not someone who needs counselling,
or someone who needs special attention?
im okay,im alright.
but i dun care anymore,

and sometimes,
i just wanna break down and cry. :(
i swear.dammit; :(

;1:04 AM

/as i sing a lullaby of pain,

i think next week i no energy for IYSC le la!!
hoooooooooooooooow? ):
just now training play centre,
like how many minutes only i cannot tahan le ):
why now then like thaaaat?

sheeeeeeeeeesh/
i feel so fcuking demoralised man/
nevermind :)
shan't say anything about it :)
tryna' stay happy yknow? :)
but somehow,
i think i liddat also like damn fake :(
how to keep up this pretence?
i cannot for long sia :(
nevermind,
forget it.

he also flying off sooooooooooon...//
ohwhatever,
i couldn't careless.
truth be told.im lying X

FORGET IT!
it has never felt the same as before,
and no.
it wont come back anymore.
if you dun like me like that,
then im sorry.
im foolish,
maybe i made a wrong choice,

gone through so much with you.

even if i were to want,

i can't/

im going crazy.

thinking of this.

maybe it's not meant to be.

maybe it is.

i dunno,and maybe.

i dun wanna know at all./

to know you're always there,

comforts me so much.

but on the other hand,

am i being fair to you?

i dun love someone like how i did last time.

yet,

i was still foolish to do that.

breaking up will kill me,

but...

idw feel so guilty anymore.

i dun really know what i want in the first place,

and i sing,

to help the tears go away.

and really,

i feel so stupid,

blooooooooody fucked up.

/just that i have never told you how i really felt before.

and maybe,

i will never tell anyone at all/

cos in the first place,

why should i?

i dun wanna worry anyone,

and i dun want anymore misunderstandings..

its cost me to lose alot.

all my effort to get to where i was.

was gone just cos of a misunderstanding..

im sorry.

but i do not know.

maybe i wont reply yor msgs,

maybe i wont answer your calls.

but that might not mean anything.

maybe im just too confused.

all in all.

im just sorry.

forgive me for being who i am/

im sick and tired of pretending to be this,

happy and cheerful girl yknow?

it takes up so much energy.

yes.i am happy wit you around.

so who cares now?

this girl yknow?

maybe its all a pretence.

and maybe you'll wish that you never knew me.

you know what has just happened.and now,

im sick of being mmisunderstood.

i might be cold,

but for now.

i dun wanna say anything.

byebye.

im taking a break/

;12:45 AM

Monday, November 24, 2008

Rules:1. Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list down their names.
4. No tagging back to the person who tagged you.
START!!!
1)hates to be misunderstood.
2)sleep talk
3)sleep walks
4)prefers studying to sports.
5)prefers hiding feelings
6)loves being a retard
7)loves disturbing szelin!
8)gets bored in 3 minutes
9)stones pratically th whole day.
10)old fashioned.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ:
A: You like to drink
B: You like people
C: You are really silly
D: You like to eat
E: You like to play with dogs
F: You are dead sexy
G: You never let people tell you what to do
H: You have a good personality and good looks
I: Easy to be with
J: People adore you
K: You are wild and crazy
L: Everyone loves you
M: Best kisses ever!
N: Best GF/BF anyone could ask for
O: Easy to fall in love with
P: You are popular with all types of people
Q: You are a tomboy
R: You are loyal to those you love
S: Crazy
T: Awesome kisses
U: You really like to chill
V: Awesome in bed
W: You are very broad-minded
X: You love sports
Y: Best BF/GF anyone could ask for
Z: Always ready

MY NAME:
K:You are wild and crazy
I:Easy to be with
M:Best kisses ever!
B:You like people
E:You like to play with dogs
R:You are loyal to those you love
L:Everyone loves you
Y:Best BF/GF anyone could ask for

L:Everyone loves you
I:Easy to be with
M:Best kisses ever!

W:You are very broad minded
E:You like to play with dogs
I:Easy to be with

Y:Best BF/GF anyone could ask for
A:You like to drink
N:Best Bf/GF anyone could ask for

/ppl tagged:
1)georgina:)
2)sze lin:)
3)kim lee:)
4)ainsley:)
5)nat koh:)
6)syafiq:)
7)olivia tkp:)
8)yuan min:)
9)huilin:)
10)shermaine:)

;2:15 AM

today woke up at 630.
supposed to meet tasneem at her station then go school together;
end up bathe everything le then she come msg me say cant meet,
her uncle sending.
so ohwells.
slacked abit more then zhao-ed/
stone on the train until reach..
go talk 901 then saw olivia(yutong) and her hougang junior who coming th school.
then from there go school together.

waited and waited and waited/
then board the bus go bollywoood veggies/
then saw the founder of netball singapore,
or something like that la.
she gave a speech,
she like scary only. :(
half way thru got all th planes fly over, so nosiy.
she like dun care one sia,
do things her way.
then go on the tour.
walk so long only wlk 1/4 of the whole place..
10 hectares all together/o.0
then got some activity,
must find th thingy de/
shawallah melody ting fang tab and me the same group.
mel like th hero sia.
run here and there find the stuff,
finished in 8 min30 secs/
then ate lunch.
quite nice:) ohwells,

then took bus to ACRES.
(i swear those who didnt go lose out sia)
went there 8 ppl go file the gates,
th rest of us plant th trees. :)
did one almost by myself.
half way th person in charge teach me.
then finish.
then slack slack for a while,
beefore we were supposed to do weeding.
th other 8 came back a while later.
judt before gon' do weeding then th person say got one more tree we nevr do.
do zah and i offerred/
for goodness sake,
we spent like an hour digging that stupid hole.
th soil hard nevermind, :)
then end up got so many rocks inside la.
all big big big one.
those ppl cheat money one sia.
put rocks into the soil,
then after a while ms ong ask us stop,
but dig until so hard we dun want/
she say okay give up another 10 mins then go le.
so we chiong.
she gave us extra time la,
then finally we completed it:):)
so happy la.
and i realised something:
HELPING PPL MAKE ME DAMN FREAKING HAPPY LA~!!:):)

blog long long alrdy la.
the end.
byebye!:)

/he's playing lan.:(

;1:41 AM

Sunday, November 23, 2008

today's sunday.
went to church.
then daddy thot viven was me,
he go mess up her hair:P
hahaha!
then szesze and vivien bought me candy from perth:):)
thanks guys;)

after church:
went to pizza bar da donato to eat again.
first ordered some damn cheesy thingy,
which daddy claimed only authentic italian places had;NICE!
ordered mushroom pizza,blue cheese pizza.
mushroom not that nice but the blue cheeese...
walan!
im not touching it in for a long long time!
(second slice couldnt take it liaos,lucky only got two slice each)
then ordered chococate lava cake.
AND I LOVE IT,<3
then ordered two cokes and one cofffee..
wanted to pay alrdy..
tben ended up ordering some ham sandwhich thingy.
they cut into four,
daddy eat one, i eat three.
end up pay?
50 BUCKS!!
eat samn freaking loads la today!
like some siao person like that.
lucky my stomach not big liaos:P
aahaha!

last time im eating like that!

then come home..
felt damn bloated. :(
use com..
realised jieje just woke up-.-
bloooooody piggy!:P
ohwells,
told her eat wht then she jealous,
who ask her never pick up th phone,
if not i dabao back liaos:P
ahaha!

supposed go library with jiejie just now..
then she sleep like some pig again so never go lor:P
aahhahah!

now damn boreded..
tmr got acad outing,then go acres help
then the next few days all training; :(:(
:(]
hopefully i can make it through,

gotta go sleep soon:(
dammit!

/talking to eunice choo now!

;5:12 AM

Saturday, November 22, 2008

/and baby i really do miss you;

life's a bore.
just came back from church.
gon' go library with jiejie soon,at 4 i think.
library>>miss those times manzxzx!!
oh dammit :(
and yeah,
this is gon' be a long week !!!
training every single day and i dun think that my card gon' have enuff money!!
gotta walk to mrt station everyday la!!
damn shiet!
oh whatever!;;
haiz,
i wanna run away from everything that is happening now sia,

DEAR!I MISS YOU LIKE CRAP!!
iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou!!' <3

to mother:
you confirm wont read one
but i'd rather just type it all out here.
i'll really want to help you with grandpa and all.
basically,
i dun wanna be late for training or whatever.
im alrdy in enuff trouble with ms robin thanks to you.(dont ask)

dammit:(

/im gonna cry ad cry and cry and cry..

;11:23 PM

Thursday, November 20, 2008

SCHOOL'S OUT YO!! :)

finally school ends,
woooooots!!!!
shiok ness!
but all th trainings..oh whatever.
yeah,
im lame.
yesterday was the parents staff students challenge;
lazy to type.
overall?
i practically made a fool of myself la!

today gon' stone the whole day,
until someone comes entertain me,
then i happy :),
entertain finish,
then i stone again.

boring life of mine,
anws
back to stooning..
ahaha

;7:12 PM

Saturday, November 15, 2008

and im like wondering what everyone else is doing throughout the whole dayy?
having fun?
so manyy people are free alrdy..
and yeah.
its gon' be a effing tough time now..
without my boo?

im boredededed..
staying at home..
crying ain't a solution.//
mum's not home yet..

im like at my dunno how many post today alrdy.
th com damn wierd.
oh whatever,
shiet..
someone..entertain me!!
tell me jokes,
tell me anything,
to keep my mind off something..

/broke down and cried,

;12:54 AM

just wanna tell you,
iloveyou;<3

you mean so much to me,
woooooooooots~!!

no one like you,
no one.

im boreded,
and seems like this is the fourth post manZxzxzx!!
can you see how bored i am alrdy?
dammit, :(

break down and cry,

Labels: you left me standing all alone in the pouring rain

;12:29 AM

Friday, November 14, 2008

;cried from time to time,

im trying to keep my cool..

dammit :(:(
i hate this feeling!
sighh,

i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

i didnt think that i would be so hard,
i wanna be with you every night,

i gon' be stoning the whole day,
emotion gon' be up and down.

i'll smile and laugh,
i'll cry and miss you..

im trying to stay strong,
but i can't/

hey baby<3
iloveyou, ;)

**crying myself to sleep every single night
without you right here by my side,

Labels: guess im wishing my life away

;7:26 PM

third post.
I don't want this moment
To ever end
Where every thing's nothing, without you
I wait here forever just to,
To see you smile
Cause it's true
I am nothing without you

Through it all
I've made my mistakes
I'll stumble and fall
But I mean these words

[Chorus]
I want you to know
With everything, I won't let this go
These words are my heart and soul
And I'll hold on to this moment you know
As I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Thoughts read unspoken
Forever and know
Pieces of memories
Fall to the ground
I know what I did and how so
I won't let this go
Cause it's true
I am nothing without you

On the streets, where I walked alone
With nowhere to go
I've come to an end

[Chorus]
In front of you're eyes
It falls from the skies
When you don't know what you're looking to find
In front of you're eyes
It falls from the skies
When you just never know what you will find
(What you will find [x4])

I don't want this moment
To ever end
Where every thing's nothing, without you

Labels: im nothing without you

;3:20 AM

btw,

next year class: 3A

subject combi: combined:(chem/physics:)
A math,
history,

i so wanted pure lor..
but nevermind.
just be glad i neer drop,

and i like same subject combi as aq same class somemore..
next year's gon' be damn funny sia..
ahahahha!

wanted to appeal,
but most probably not gon' to/:):):):)

at least i got physics,

no one's home,
my throat's fucking hurting like hell.

today morning training was like crap.
like damn fucking dizzy only..
after 1.6 only can vomit,
am i really this weak?

next week gon' train with noraida,
a week without ms robin,
dun need so "stress" liao.
train with her is like _ _ _ _ !

then afternoon was like sort of game,
three four ppl against seven,
can die sia, :P

Labels: oh baby

;2:42 AM

and,no i wont last.

yeah.so yesterday was grad night..
performed..
th dance is like o.0
everyone look so different la.
so nice nice,
bryan is damn funny la!
if got time i put up th pics i took with some of them..
yeah.

day one without you,
and i alrdy ain't doing well..

i wanna turn back time..

nevermind..
so yeah.
skipped the workshop today
and the camp tmr..

i really ain't having any mood to do anything anymore..

coach asking me to call her..
she should know i wouldn't..

ohwells,

i shouldn't have walked off yesterday..
i really shouldn't have.

come on kim,

stop fucking hell crying..

whats the use?

you bloody idiot!!

get a hold of yourself,

what do you think you are doing?!

dun give up,

dun give up..

and yeah,

i really do miss you.

;1:46 AM

Sunday, November 9, 2008

and i thot that i could go on,

oh fuck it!
shiet,
idw think about it,

you're all i ever need.

i may be vulgar.
i may act like some gangsta,
i might act like a B!TCH,
i might have ever single bad characteristc that
you can think of,
i may be ugly,
i may be short-tempered,
i may be stupid,
BUT,at least,

IM NOT LIKE YOU!

Labels: 2 more days, dammit.

;1:14 AM

Friday, November 7, 2008

i'm gon' miss those times..

baby,you got me thinking..
sigh,

could time slow down?
i really dun want th last day to come so soon,

its been fun with you,

really reallly fun,
sigh,

you got me trippin,

iloveyou,<3

a love story..i'll never forget.

i'\m standing there..
on a balcony of summer air,

see the lights,
the party,
the ball
the gown.

i see you make your way through the crowd.

you say hello/
little did i know..

that you were romeo

and i was crying on the stairs
/and begging you,
pls don't go.

and i said,
romeo take me somewhere
we can be alone.
i'll be waiting,
all there's left to do is run

you'll be th prince and,
i'll be the princess.
it's a love story baby,
pls say yes.

i miss you,
more than words can describe,

i gaze out admist the desperation
that surrounds me,

seeking your hand,
only to realise its too late,

i lie awake rememberin the times i held you close,

when we laughed together,
when i told you everything,

i miss you so much,

you made sure that i knew you loved me,

i remember where we used to sit,
me and you side by side.

now i sit alone,
gazing at the emptiness that your laughter once filled.

you were there for me no matter what,

everything's so different without you by my side,

i'm nothing,knowing we're apart.

i sit here crying,
knowing that things wont be the same again,

i feel my mind slipping back into th past.

remembering everything we went through,

damn it,
times passing too fast,

I looked away
then I look back at you,
You try to say
the things that you can't undo,
If I had my way
I'd never get over you,
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through.

Make it through the fall,
Make it through it all.

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it'
Cause I'm in love with you.

You're the only one
I'd be with till the end.
When I come undone
you bring me back again.
Back under the stars,
Back into your arms.

Labels: 3 more days?

;8:47 PM

dun waste your time n some B!TCH!

so the week's is fucking screwed.
answer to this question: kim,why you suddenly so vulgar?(something like that)
ans: oh cos its like im always vulgar,especially very vulgar with ppl
like you around?

SHIT

annoying annoying annoying noises..irritiating irritiating irrititating B!TCH..flirtatious flirtatious flirtatious SLUT!
definition of noises:
NOISES ARE SOUNDS THAT DO NOT CARRY ANY USEFUL INFORMATION.
eg,traffic,machinery,construction,people(specifically you?)
-MIGHT CAUSE FRUSTRATION IF VOLUME OF NOISE IS TO HIGH.
and in this case,i supposed its really quite true yknow.

dun go round acting like some hot shot,
and consider the way you talk first like yeah?
listen,have i ever asked of you to be like nice to me?
like fucking no!
stupid idiot.
anyhow put words into my mouth.
like no thanks ah,i \dun need your words in my mouth.
AND IF YOU CARE TO FUCKING SPAM,
BE MY GUEST.
OH BTW.
IF YOU DUN WANT PUT NAME THEN DUN EVEN THINK OF SPAMMING,

oh shiet,
why i waste my time on you ah?

so th week's tiring.
finally all the tests are over,
shiok shiok.
can focus on the grad night dance le,
oh whatevers..
the dance complete its coooooooooool..
so yeah.
and hmmmm..
nothings been up lately.

baby.
im gonna miss you,
ily,<3

Labels: 4 more days.ohh baby..i cant take it

;5:53 AM

Monday, November 3, 2008

help me illustrate my feelings;

you really got me tripping,

and i

said its the last time..

idk whats happening anymore..

im changing..changing to someone idw know..

fuckfuckfuck!!

i hate myself for everything..

for being this way..

for acting to things in certain ways.

and im gonna miss it,

there's only one condition.

baby,pls dun cry..

Labels: im all caught up;

;8:56 PM

i hate you mum;

or in the first place..

are you acting like some mum?

dun act like yknow everything cos im sick of the fact that you'll never give him another chance.

come on..

he gave you a handwriting letter//

th least you could have done is to read it righ?

instead of being a fcuking B!TCH and just say:read for what?

i felt like shouting at you.

slapping you for that,

but be glad..that social worker was here.

and what makes you think is we cal her come one?

she also say is gerald want her come de,

cos he want you to get th letter right? cb,

think you so big ah?

fuck you la bodoh.

but thinking back..

who would want to do that?

sheeesh,

you nearly got me to fucking fail my history aites?

and oh wow,

such a good mother..

fail the fail ah?

for you okay la

also not your marks,

its mine of course you wouldnt care one la..

want be a good daughter you,

you go do things for your father yourself uh.

why should i help?

and if you havent forgotten,

ive told you before,

I HATE GRANDPA!!

so stop crapping and asking me to do something that i dun wanna do.

anything but for him..

he got my lifescrewed..

meanwhile acting like some innocent bastard,

fuck la.

Labels: 7 more days..ohh baby

;8:47 PM